This conversation, overheard in the great design studio in the sky –
Joe (for Jehovah) to his colleagues:….and the great thing is, after they started thinking, they began to worship me!
Al (for Allah): Wow! That’s neat. Do they do that thing – you know – sacrifices?
Supervisor, interrupting: Guys, Break it up. I need to talk to Joe.
(All disperse but Joe and Supervisor)
Super: Joe, I need to talk to you about this “Humans ” project of yours –
Joe: Yeah, isn’t it great! I was just telling the guys –
Super: It’s over, Joe, the committee just voted to close the project down. No more funding.
Joe : But –
Super: Sorry, Joe, but you know, yourself, it’s gotten out of hand. They’re uncontrollable, the survival rate is low, but not because of system failure. It’s because they kill each other off, and, I might say – anything else that gets in their way. No I don’t think the Committee will back off from this one. Why, if they got the right kind of weapons, who knows what damage they might do? We’re talking the whole damn universe here.
Joe: But boss, now that they worship me, I could, maybe, give them a commandment –?
Super: Sorry, Joe, it’s been tried. You know they’ll just have some ‘priest’ interpret so it’ll mean “you can only kill your enemies” and who knows what that’ll come to mean? Sorry, Joe, the order’s going down. Besides, we really need you to work with Al on this Black Hole thing, It’s high priority and seriously behind schedule. Hey, maybe you could use the prototype for disposal – but no, I guess not. We still don’t know where the stuff goes when it leaves the back end of that thing. It might turn out to be serious pollution. No. just do the usual. You know, cremate ‘em.
Joe, despairingly: Oh, the Humanity! Can’t we do something? What if we move it to another Universe? Wouldn’t that work?
Super: Joe, you know we can’t do that. Do you want to bring on – what do they call it – Gotterdammerung? You can’t break the laws of nature! You’re not Bush, you know!
Joe: I know. You’re right. But what’s that thing you said? Gotter-what?
Super: I’m sorry. I forget myself sometimes. That hasn’t been invented yet. It’s on the next Millennial Budget. Forget I said anything. You’re not supposed to know about it. “Classified” they call it. That gives me an idea, though, but you may not like it. You know that system way out at the edge of the galaxy they call the “Milky Way”? Well, it has a planet with conditions a lot like your lab. We could move your ‘humans’ out there. In fact, I think the committee might let them still “worship” you if you like that. Sort of a “perk” to make you feel better?
Joe: If that’s all I can get, I guess it might be OK. At least they’ll still be alive. But how can I manage the experiment? It’s too far away.
Super: Well, Joe, you just may have to live with that. At least they’ll be so far away it’ll be a long time before they’re a threat to headquarters. I guess you’ll just have to let them evolve.
Joe: Evolve? What’s that?